The Seedy past of The Krankies - Pt 1

Not many people know this.. but The Krankies used to be Russian spies.. They actually grew up two streets apart in Leningrad.. wee Jimmy went to the infamous 'special school for curious midget cross-dressing future entertainers'.. whilst her/his future other half went to the school for seemingly normal people who will marry curious midget cross-dressing future entertainers. They first met at the progressive Proletariat youth centre up the road..

It was kind of love at first site in every absolute sense of the word 'wrong'- what with the 6ft height difference and the school-cap & shorts.. however, despite wee Jimmy's stature and boyish good looks, the 17 yr old was clearly every inch the woman in Ians eyes. It was a relationship very much against the odds but one which would ultimately bloom into a very loving and caring romance (seriously!)

It was Ian who took the first tentative steps. Wee Jimmy was drinking a state-approved Tizer and playing a game of snooker with some of the other lads when the 6ft 4 curly haired lethario approached.
Clearing his throat.. a silence befell the snooker table area..

As one of wee Jimmys friends dug him in the ribs.. Ian uttered the life-changing sentence.. "would you like to go on a date?".. ...... everyone fainted..

Everyone that is except wee Jimmy.. who turned crimson with a beguiling look.. almost unable to answer.. he had prayed for this moment since first setting eyes on Ian at the tuck-shop 3 weeks ago..

"Well"? said Ian.. as some of Jimmy's friends started to convulse..

"Aye" fandabeedozy.. wee Jimmy said..

"What does that fucking mean?" said Ian.. before giving wee Jimmy a note with his phone number on.. "Anyway.. give me a ring and we'll go to the cinema or something"..

Wee Jimmy skipped all the way home but was sent to bed early when he told his mum...